I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
and she was petting her beer can
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Randomize
