My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
