So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
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