You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Randomize
