So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
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