We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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