yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize