We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize
