Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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