He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Randomize
