You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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