if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize