Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize
