Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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