Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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