your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
