South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
We had sex on a dog bed..
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Randomize
