Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Randomize
