Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
handjob tips. give me some.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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