I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize
