worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Randomize
