I faked an abortion last night.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
