oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
