i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
How does it feel to date your dad?
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
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