All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
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