i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
