just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
