everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
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