Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
