i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Hippo gnu deer
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
