Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Randomize
