New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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