Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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