your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
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