Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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