ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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