I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Randomize
