Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Randomize
