At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
