At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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