only if we run a train.
done.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
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