Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
