i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Is it because I queefed?
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
I have post one night stand depression
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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