let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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