Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
My first STD was from a foam party
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Randomize
