I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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