This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Who put my cat in the fridge?
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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