I cannot find my penis.
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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