Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
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