She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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