Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
He better not be in your backpack
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
