we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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