Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
