I hate your face
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
