i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
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