i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
