Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Randomize
