just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Randomize
