there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Randomize
