Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
