Duck Duck Cougar?
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
