I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
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