Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Randomize
