nut hugger
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
