I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
