Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
