Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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