Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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