I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
this is an emotional support booty call
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
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