how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
My feet surprised me
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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