I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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